Reactions

I am reading a book called “The 7 Habits of Successful People”. It very much bends you to believe that you are the owner of you. That you have the power to shape your reality and reactions to others around you. Well, here is the hard part about trying to block out external influences and staying positive all the time.

I try my hardest everyday to keep positive and stay happy, but I’m only human. I have not reached enlightenment or achieved transcendence by any means. I think of myself as wise and have been told I am such by others; however, stress is stress. We all react in some way, whether it is choosing not to react, or flying off the hinges and going bat-shit crazy. I have a
“co-worker” (and I use this word loosely), that likes to stir the pot and get a rise out of people.

Now, I am not one to normally react to situations impulsively. I personally HATE confrontation and speaking my mind because when I do, no one is happy about what I have to say. Part of my problem though is that I am stubborn and quite very emotional. I feel a bit more keenly than others, however throughout my life, I have learned to bottle things up. It’s not the “typical man” thing, its my tough skin, my wall, or my bubble. People have a hard time trying to get under my skin because I am very “Eh, forget about it!” Not much tends to actually bug me.

This “co-worker” of mine for SOME reason, knows how to do just that! She gets under my skin no matter HOW hard I try to ignore it. I’ve snapped more times at her in the last 2 months than I have on ANYONE else in my life! I stand up, and I confront her. I get that shaking feeling, that surge of adrenaline. She runs and hides afterward, but not much later (usually the next day), shes right back at it, poking the sleeping lion with a finger (ballsy). Every rise she gets out of me I’m sure excites her and satisfies her need to “feel alive”, because lets face it, her life is pretty drab from what she tells me.

She has the total power to come back down on me and more than likely get me removed, but we are in an interesting spot, and I think we both know it. She can’t get rid of me because she knows I’m already on the way out, and if she tries, my Doc will probably rip her face off. He would probably fight tooth and nail for me as I’m his “Superman”. So of course, she would appease him to save her own skin. The other factor here is that I’m pretty sure her boss would like some reason to get rid of her too. Interesting predicament.

We will definitely have to see what happens in the future. While I’m planning on getting out by August 2017, it may just have to be a bit sooner as I’m really getting fed up with the treatment I receive from this “co-worker”.

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